


Fuzzball

by rebelmeg



Series: Rebelmeg's Pepperony Bingo 2020 [3]
Category: Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: But we all know what's up, Cats, Fluff and Humor, Gen, Pepper and Tony are just dancing around each other, Pre-Iron Man 1, Pre-Relationship, Sassy Jarvis, There's a CAT... LOOSE in the WORKSHOP, Tony's Bots - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-11
Updated: 2020-04-11
Packaged: 2021-03-02 03:40:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,507
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23588539
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rebelmeg/pseuds/rebelmeg
Summary: How did a kitten get into the workshop?  Tony's got no idea, but the bots have fallen in love.
Relationships: Jarvis (Iron Man movies) & Tony Stark, Pepper Potts & Tony Stark
Series: Rebelmeg's Pepperony Bingo 2020 [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1664317
Comments: 31
Kudos: 137





	Fuzzball

**Author's Note:**

  * For [remreader](https://archiveofourown.org/users/remreader/gifts).



> I wrote this for the Pepperony Bingo, for my square 05 - Pets!
> 
> It is also for my Rem, who caught the kitten reference in my fic [Got Your Nose!](https://archiveofourown.org/works/23078698) and immediately went "KITTEN?!" and made grabby hands at me. For you, Rem! *Blows kisses*
> 
> All the thanks for the fantastic [Poliz](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Politzania), who was my beta!

_Malibu Mansion, 2005_

Movement out of the corner of his eye brought Tony’s head up from a piece of tech he was soldering, and he stilled as he saw something small, dark, and definitely furry suddenly disappear under the metal cabinet against the wall.

“JARVIS?”

“Yes, sir?”

“What was that?”

“If you could be a bit more specific?”

“Ooh, we might have to turn down that sass setting of yours. What is that little critter that just vanished under the tool cabinet? Because if it’s a rat, I might freak out.” He didn’t take his eyes off the cabinet, watching it with the kind of focus that one with a bit of a rat phobia might watch a potential rat hideout.

“According to my scans, it is a cat. A kitten, if my theory is correct.”

Tony’s shoulders slumped a little with relief as he set his soldering tools aside and wiped his hands on his tank top. “A cat? Okay, I can deal with that, cats don't have creepy bald tails or plague. Wait, how did a cat get in here?” 

“Kitten, sir.”

“Yeah, we’re definitely gonna do something about your sass levels today if you keep correcting me.” Tony stood up from the stool he’d been perched on and made his way slowly towards the cabinet. “How did a _kitten_ get into my workshop?”

“There are three likely possibilities, and four less likely.”

“Gimme the top three.”

“It may have entered in through the garage tunnel when the outer door was open. Or perhaps through one of the other doors or windows. Or it may have squeezed in through a vent.”

“My money is on the garage door.” Still standing a few feet away, Tony bent over to get a look under the cabinet, grunting a little as he spoke again. “Just out of curiosity, what were the other four?”

“You let it in covertly while drunk. Miss Potts is having a laugh at your expense. It was born within the building. Or magic.”

Tony barked out a laugh as he took a step closer, still bent over as he squinted into the narrow space between the cabinet and the floor. “Magic?”

“It _is_ less likely.”

“Or impossible, whatever. And I can’t actually imagine Virginia ‘I will stab you with my Louboutins’ Potts having a laugh at anyone, so I guess you’re onto something there.” Tony was right next to the cabinet, but still hadn’t caught sight of the rumored kitten under his cabinet. “I can’t see a thing, and I probably look really ridiculous.”

“Shall I have Dum-E fetch a flashlight?”

“Yeah, and have U grab the push broom. Don’t think I didn’t notice you not commenting on my looking ridiculous.”

“You implied that I should tone down the sass. Are you taking that back?”

“Hardy har har.”

A few minutes later, Tony was flat on his belly and peering under the cabinet while Dum-E and U both held flashlights. He was using the push broom handle to try and scoot the unidentified ball of fur out from under the cabinet, but it wasn’t cooperating, and he could only get his hand and a few inches of his wrist under there.

“Come on, little fuzzy. You can’t stay under there.” He wiggled the push broom around, trying to maneuver it behind the animal. It made a pitiful squeaky kind of noise.

“Don’t try to make me feel bad about this, I’m immune to problem-causing creatures making sad nuisance noises.”

“Should I be offended, sir?” JARVIS inquired.

“You know I was talking about my metal children.”

There was a squall, and a scramble, and Tony gave a _“Ha!”_ of triumph. “Ope, there we go, gotcha.” He tugged the furry thing out from under the cabinet, then scooped it up against his chest while he sat up. “There we are. Ouch, stop with the claws. Ow! And the teeth! Definitely a kitten, JARVIS. A bitey one.”

“I do so enjoy being right.”

“Wow, I need to clean under my cabinets more, yikes.” Tony was using the hem of his tank top to wipe some of the dust off the kitten’s face, uncovering more of the soft, fluffy dark gray fur. It sneezed, it’s whole body twitching, and Dum-E’s arm suddenly swung wildly around and he dropped the heavy flashlight, narrowly missing Tony’s foot.

“Whoa, hey, calm down, what’s up with the freakout?”

The bot beeped excitedly and bobbed his arm while JARVIS translated.

“He did not realize the kitten was, in fact, alive until it sneezed.”

Tony reached up and grabbed onto Dum-E’s arm with the hand not holding the kitten, hanging on until the bot calmed down. “How did you figure that, huh? You big dunce. It’s blinking and breathing and everything.”

JARVIS supplied the answer. “This is the first time Dum-E has seen an animal in person. He did not know that they were alive like you.”

“And the sneeze tipped him off, huh?” Tony patted Dum-E’s strut fondly, then U as well when she got jealous and scooted closer for some attention.

“Apparently it sounded like you.”

“Excuse me, _what_ ? My bot thinks I sound like a kitten when I sneeze?”

If an AI could sound shit-eating, JARVIS was managing it. “He also said it was cute. U agrees.”

“I’m going to put every single one of you in timeout. Don’t think I won’t. Okay guys, gimme some space.” He waved the bots away then got up, still holding the kitten to his chest. It’s little claws were pricking at his skin through the shirt, but it wasn’t too bad. He looked down at it, noting the striped/spotted kind of pattern of its fur, a dozen different shades of gray and black. 

“Alright, fuzzball, where did you come from and what exactly am I supposed to do with you now, huh?”

A faint whirring sound over his shoulder preceded Dum-E’s claw, moving slowly as if the bot was trying to be sneaky. Tony heard the sound of the small camera focusing, and had to stifle a grin.

“Trying to get another look, buddy?”

An affirmative beep, and then U was over his other shoulder, both of the bots peering down for a look. The cat’s eyes, which were nearly the same color as its fur with the slightest green tinge, were wide open and looking between the two claws.

“Don’t mind them," Tony murmured at the kitten, rubbing behind one tiny ear with his finger. "They've never seen a kitten before.”

“I believe this would make an excellent photo for the Christmas card this year, sir.” JARVIS said, a shutter clicking noise coming through the speakers.

“You’re funny.”

* * *

It was painfully obvious that Tony had no idea what to do with a cat, much less a kitten of questionable age, when JARVIS had to stop him from giving the kitten milk, giving it a bath, or taking it for a walk.

“What exactly _am_ I allowed to do with it, J? Aside from trying to protect it from the over-affectionate bots.”

“It may be able to drink water, if its mother taught it how.”

“You’re joking, they have to be taught how to drink water?”

“Apparently so, it’s a learned skill such as hissing or hunting.”

“You learn something new every day.” The kitten was basically in the same spot it had been since Tony got it out from under the cabinet, tucked against his chest, and it had fallen asleep and was purring under his hand. Giving Dum-E an appraising look, Tony motioned for the bot to come over. 

“C’mere, buddy. Wanna try something.”

While Dum-E craned his arm around to see what he was doing, Tony disentangled the cat from his shirt and carefully transitioned it to the flat top of Dum-E’s chassis. He kept his hand over it for a minute, watching almost anxiously as it blinked a few times and looked around in confusion. But the warmth of Dum-E’s inner workings and the gentle hum of all his gears and motors lulled the kitten back to sleep in moments.

“Okay, now you’ve gotta hold real still, okay? Don’t wake it up or it might get scared or fall off. In the cartoons, they jump up and stick to the ceiling.” Leaning back in his chair, Tony made sure his bot wasn’t gonna do anything crazy, or his other bot that was inching closer to get a good look, then he picked up his phone. “What’s the number for the local animal shelter, J? I wanna find out what we can do for this little critter.”

“What little critter?” Pepper Potts had just opened the workshop door, an ever-present stack of files in one arm, a mug of coffee in the other. Tony swiveled around to face her.

“Miss Potts, we’ve acquired a kitten.”

“You what?”

Tony gestured to the little furball, still sleeping on Dum-E. “It got into my workshop.”

Pepper stared at it, then at him. “How?”

“JARVIS suggested magic.”

“He did not.”

“Did too.”

“To be fair, I did say that it was an unlikely scenario.”

“Not helping, J.”

“What are you gonna do with it?” Pepper had gotten a little closer, and was studying the kitten, leaning over and holding her fall of light red hair back with her hand. 

She was still holding the mug of coffee, which Tony had his eye on. He rolled his chair over to her sneakily, managing to relieve her of the coffee without a fuss, and he grinned to himself as he took a sip. “Heck if I know. I was gonna call the local shelter, see what they suggest.”

Pepper looked at him, alarmed. “You’re not keeping it?”

“No, of course not, take that panic out of your voice right now. I don’t know what to do with a kitten, and it might not even be able to drink water or anything. I’m not ready to be a father. Hey, isn’t it Saturday? Why are you here?”

She stifled a laugh, possibly at his father comment, and set her armful of files down on his table. “Because I knew you’d forget to take care of these yesterday and I had to run an errand anyway. While you’re having a paternity crisis, these two need your signature, these two are proposals that need to be read over and approved or rejected, and the four on the bottom are the quarterly reports you asked for.”

“I don’t suppose you have a sandwich tucked in there somewhere?” Tony asked as he took another swallow of coffee.

“I have a personal rule about never making a sandwich for a man.” Pepper replied, almost flippantly, a slight smile on her face as he laughed. “Will that be all, Mr. Stark?”

“That will be all, Miss Potts.” He grinned after her as she left, then swiveled back around in his chair. Ignoring the stack of files, he looked back at the kitten. It was still where he’d left it, but it had rolled over onto its back, and was purring up a storm while U very carefully massaged its tiny belly with her claw.

“JARVIS, do not let me keep that cat.”

“Feeling fond already, sir?”

“Fairly indifferent, actually, but my bots have bonded. It’s not gonna be pretty when they find out fuzzball over there has to leave at some point.”

* * *

Tony was correct. It was near anarchy an hour later when the bots found out the cat was not staying.

Dum-E was making sad beeps, his claw the droopiest it had ever been, and it sounded like U was wailing as she spun around in circles on the other side of the room. Tony was pretty sure he’d barely escaped the workshop with his life, and he didn’t waste time jogging up the stairs, kitten draped over is shoulder.

“Miss Potts? You still on the premises?”

“In the kitchen!”

“Did I hear the doorbell?”

“Yep! You got it?”

Tony scooped the kitten off his shoulder and held it in front of his face, talking to it in a conspiratorial tone. “My PA is here and I still have to answer my own door, Fuzzball? Rude. What kind of disgustingly rich person answers their own door, I ask you."

"You say something?"

"Nope!” Keeping one hand on the kitten that was now trying to climb up his chest and back to his shoulder, Tony answered the door to make the hand-off to the animal shelter worker that had agreed to come get the kitten. (Tony had a very persuasive checkbook.)

“Let me know how it goes, I’ve got some very invested robots in the basement.” He said as the shelter worker tucked the kitten into a small animal carrier, then gave him an inquisitive look.

“Um, sure thing, Mr. Stark.”

"If you're into Star Wars references, we've been calling it Fuzzball. Thanks!"

Tony waved them off, then headed back inside, talking loud so Pepper could hear him. “Kitten is officially out of my hands. I think we should put a thing on my Facebook account, though. See if we can’t get a few shelter pets adopted.”

“How altruistic of you.” Pepper met him in the living room and held out a plate.

Tony looked at her, then at the plate which was loaded with chips, apple slices, and a hoagie sandwich complete with an olive-topped toothpick stuck in the middle. He glanced at her, raising his eyebrow. “I thought you had a rule about making sandwiches for men.”

“Oh, I do. But I don’t have a rule about ordering takeout on your credit card and putting it on a plate.” She had that smile on her face, that half smile that looked like she wanted to smile more, and her blue eyes were sparkling with humor as he accepted the plate.

“Alright then. Thank you, Miss Potts.”

“You’re welcome. I’m going home now, if that’s all?”

“Yes indeed, enjoy the rest of your day.” He watched her as she left the room, still holding the plate. He glanced at the stairs to the workshop skeptically. “JARVIS, will I be risking my life if I go back down there right now?”

“Probably, sir.”

“Couch it is.” He plopped down onto his long, curved couch with a sigh, and took a huge bite out of the sandwich with relish. He rolled a thought around in his head as he chewed. “J, you don’t think getting them a couple stuffed animal cats would help, would it?”

“Not likely.”

“Darn.”

Pepper came back through the room with a takeout box in her hand and her purse over her shoulder. “Thanks for the sandwich, there's more coffee in the kitchen. See you Monday.”

“Sure thing. Oh, hey Pep, if you were gonna have a laugh at my expense, what would you do?”

She glanced at him over her shoulder with a sly smile as she headed for the door. “Switch all the coffee in your house to decaf.”

His horrified gasp followed her out of the house.

**Author's Note:**

> If you are concerned about the fate of Fuzzball, have no fear! He was adopted as a birthday present for a set of very thrilled triplets in Santa Monica, who proceeded to spoil him absolutely rotten. Seven other animals from the same shelter also found forever homes, thanks to Tony's Facebook post.


End file.
